


Paternal Affection

by Wealthywetsunny



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-15 17:06:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15417594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wealthywetsunny/pseuds/Wealthywetsunny
Summary: One shots, different situations where The deputy has gotten married to one of the Seeds and extended their small family with the addition of a child. Small snippets of fluff showing how they struggle to act as a dad after the tragic life they’ve know.Imagines and headcanons about being a father





	1. John

John was shaking the entire time, even more so than the woman currently screaming beside him as she pushed their child out. Her hand tightened around his one last time in a blindingly tight grip before the sound of a crying child shocked his ears. His wife finally relaxed, eyes slipping shut, relief falling over her face. John was still tense despite it all going well so far. He broke away from his wife to hover nervously over his special team of doctors. Only the best for his beloved. 

She was tiny, a small bundle that they presented to him. Her face peeked out of the fluffy blankets. Eyes screwed shut and small cries running out of her mouth. She squirmed beneath his touch, settling as John bounced her, huddling her closer to his body. 

This was all so sudden. Almost surreal now that he was finally holding his daughter. Just a few hours ago he got a call from one of his men saying that his wife was in labor. He remembers his panic, the way his heart leapt up to his throat. As luck would have it, John was halfway across his region, overseeing some project that didn’t deserve his rapt attention, he should’ve been home. But for the past three weeks he stayed at his ranch and doted on the deputy. Waiting for their daughter to be born. He got pulled away after the fifth voicemail from Joseph, threatening to come there himself and drag John out of his home. 

He didn’t think twice about taking his plane. Flying through the air at high speeds wasn’t the safest place to be making phone calls. That didn’t stop him from calling his brothers and sister. Telling them he wouldn’t be available for a few hours maybe days. His language was more...colorful than that. Resulting in him already going over the apology presents for the tone he used. But right now he needed time for his wife and child. And now, staring at his daughter, he was glad for requesting peace. 

His baby girl, looking pure in his arms. The only innocent thing he had in his life now. She wasn’t defiled by any sins, she had no scars maring her virgin skin. Unblemished, not yet touched by the outside world. He heard Joseph talk about when he looked at his own daughter from so long ago. How it hit him that he was all she had, that she was vulnerable and only he could protect her. John understood it now. And it was the most overwhelming feeling he’s ever experienced.

John collapsed back onto the chair near the deputy’s bed. He raked his eyes over the steady rise and fall of her chest. Sleeping away the last four hours of hell she just went through. His heart went out for her, but it had to be worth it. Their daughter was worth 9 months of swollen feet and achy muscles. 

The tiredness that he was feeling moments ago was suddenly gone, all fatigue erased as some sense of paternal instincts overroad his body. He clung to his child like a lifeline, sending up prayers. Hoping that this child would be different from everything else in his fucked up life. It wouldn’t be ruined or taken from him.

He laid a kiss on his daughter's head, keeping close watch on her, not wanting to miss her first smile or the first time she opened her eyes and saw the world around her. He would be there for her.

—

The baby monitor wasn’t kept on his side of the bed, that didn’t stop him from jolting awake from the loud cries coming out of it. 

“I got her this time.” 

The deputy carried bags under her eyes, sporting a tired frown. Their baby girl was up every three hours, needing milk and soft touches of reassurance. John was a heavy sleeper and his wife was too kind to wake him up, tell him to get his ass up and do his job as a father. There were too many days where he woke up and realized that she was up all night and he didn’t do a damn thing. He felt jabs of guilt run through him. Guilty that he wasn’t helping his wife, guilty that he wasn’t spending enough time with his daughter. He wasn’t pulling his weight. 

His footfalls were light despite everyone in the house already being awake now, he still avoided the creaking wood of the floorboards. He pushed open her door, only one room over from his. 

She was flailing, arms raised in the air, forming into tiny fists. Her face was pinched tight when he reached for her. He bounced her lightly, humming.

“Shush. It’s okay, I got you sweetheart.” His calming tone did little to help her current state. He reeled around to sit down in a rocking chair that he would never admit the price to. Nothing would ever be too much for his girl, the thought only made him smile for a second before her sharp cry cut through his mind. 

“Need help?” John’s head snapped up, frowning when he saw his wife at the door. Shivering in her loose nightgown. 

“I told you I got it.”

“Is that a no…?” 

Truth be told, John was scared to let her help. Almost angry. What if their daughter grew up loving her more than him? He already was busy with Eden’s Gate. With baptisms, confessions and atonements. He knew he wasn’t around enough. He needed to do this, he couldn’t bear the thought that his daughter might not love him, might not seek solace in his touch later on in life. 

His eyes roamed over the deputy. She’d understand. She would leave, go back to bed if he asked. But they were a family. His little girl needed to know that she had a full family. That both of her parents were there. “C’mere, babe.” He noted the light blush on her cheeks at the pet name, feeling a swell of pride that he still had that effect on her. 

When she was close enough he pulled her into his lap. Letting her sit on his right leg while their daughter was being held off to the left. Crying, shaking, looking miserable. “Are we doing something wrong?” 

“John…” The soft words of his wife made him glance up at her. He tightened his arm around her waist, her hands rubbed at the nape of his neck, smoothing down his bed head. She reached down to stroke their daughters cheek. “We’re doing fine. She’s loved, has food and a roof over her head, she’s safe too. And,” the deputy drew John’s attention towards her and kissed him deeply, “She’s got the best dad in this whole County. She’s lucky to have you. We both are.” 

John relaxed, curling his arms around the bundle of blankets that held his girl. They’d make it. Tonight was just a small hurdle. No one ever said being a parent was easy, he just wished his insecurities wouldn’t bleed out into the night so openly. 

—

“And this, this is daddy’s pride and joy,” he hesitated, frowning, “Well, after you of course.” He held her tighter to his body, feeling her squirm, catching onto his excitement. He circled his plane, The Affirmation. It was freshly cleaned, the broken engine had been replaced with the newest and best model. 

“I’ll take you flying one day, we’ll see the whole valley together.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek before holding her above his head at arms length to simulate the experience she’d have in the air, reveling in the delighted noises she made. “Yeah, you’d like that.” John was careful when he climbed onto the wing, popping open the glass window and slipping behind the controls. He held her in his lap, watching her eyes flick around excitedly at the change in scenery. 

She wasn’t old enough to walk or talk, hell, she couldn’t even crawl. But she was just old enough to be able to hold her head up on her own, letting her get a perfect view of everything around her. 

They were still parked in his hanger, and he kept her tight on his knee, careful to make sure she didn’t start up the plane. The loud roar of the engine would only frighten her. 

She pounded on buttons that wouldn’t do a damn thing unless turned on. The entire time he spoke softly, right next to her ear, explaining the controls, promising how he would give her lessons one day. “Maybe you’ll be just as good as me with enough practice.” He laughed, pressing another kiss to her pale skin. “We could go flying together. I’ll buy you your own plane, whatever color, whatever type.” She tossed her head back on his chest, babbling baby talk. God he loved her. He squeezed her close to him, eyes closed. Just taking this new life all in.

He was starting to think the deputy was right. He was a good father. He was doing alright, how could he think otherwise with how his daughter smiled up at him each time he entered a room? 

—

He took a step back.

Perfect.

She was lying down on her changing station, dressed in a new pair of pajamas he ordered online. It was too expensive, he knew that, but when he held it in his hands after it finally arrived, he knew why. It was made out of the softest material, it wouldn’t irritate her skin. And the patterns that decorated it were absolutely beautiful. Almost matching his coat, though that was on purpose. Her pj’s were covered in tiny airplanes varying in size and color. 

On the back in swirly letters it read, ‘For This Aviator, The Sky Is Home!’ On the front, across her stomach it stated, ‘l Belong In The Air.’ It fit great, proudly displaying his love for planes, as well as the blossoming pilot he had. And surely pride for your kid wasn’t wrong. How could Joseph condemn his child for being prideful? Nothing this sweet could ever be sinful. 

He walked back towards her when she squirmed on her back, neck craning to try to look at him. John grabbed her hands. Her feet pressed against his stomach. The best part of the whole ensemble what the fact that it was a onesie. Her socked feet in the pajamas were adorable. His favorite part of being father was scrolling around the internet buying shoes and socks for her. They were so small! 

John stroked her cheek, booping her nose and giving her an eskimo kiss. She was his. That thought would never cease to amaze him. She was his daughter who always laughed and grabbed at him and most importantly, loved him. 

It was a hard fact to try to swallow. That she loved him simply because he was her dad. He finally had someone to care about him, to project all his love onto. Someone who didn’t believe he could do any wrong.


	2. Joseph

He stared out at his flock, smile widening in greeting as people trickled in, starting to take their seats. His brothers and sister stood at the door, welcoming everyone. His wife already sat at the front, her designated place after so long with being apart of Eden’s Gate.

God, in all his mercy had given him a second chance. Had granted him with an adoring, beautiful wife, who in turn, graced him with a child. A darling girl that was absolutely precious. She was calm in his arms, swaddled in the softest blanket he could provide. A pastel yellow that was meant to show how she was his beacon of light. A reason to keep going, a constant reminder on why he formed Eden’s Gate. For their children, their future. 

He never held any hesitancy when he came up with the idea of holding his baby during one of his sermons. Despite the words of concern his family announced. They didn’t know her like he did, she wasn’t fussy, only whining when placed away from the comforting heat of her parents. 

Looking around, he let everyone get settled. His brothers and sister were all sat in the front row with his wife. He could see their anxiety about him holding his daughter, fear that she might start crying. They were already worried when Joseph mentioned how she had gotten sick over the weekend, up all night with a fever and cough. 

Those nights were the longest ones of his life. He never had to deal with a baby getting sick. Didn’t know how serious it was. He stayed up until dawn, singing, You Are My Sunshine, on repeat, then switching to the songs on the radio about his family. 

He placed her pacifier in her mouth whenever she was calm enough and stopped crying. Her milk was beside him on a corner table, held securely in a bottle warming stand, ready at a moments notice. He kept her blankets off, mindful of her fever. 

Things that were gifted to him for his new baby were scattered around him where he sat on the floor with her in his arms. A collection of small toys that jingled and caught her attention. Anything to distract her from her sickness. She seemed to love his glasses the most. Hands always reaching up, he’d offer her his hand, watch her grip onto his finger before stretching, making soft noises of discontent. He didn’t want to deny her a single thing, each time he would draw her higher until her tiny hands could wrap around his yellow lenses. She’d tug them off, swing them around, a few times teething on them. The deputy gladly bought teething toys, but his girl couldn’t seem to break the habit of stealing his glasses. Which would result in small fingerprints scattered on his aviators. 

Last Christmas John had gifted him with a pastel orange handkerchief embroidered with his initials. Patting him on the back and telling him that it would help him clean his glasses every ten minutes. 

That had been last night, and she was still getting over her cold. Resulting in a very tired Joseph for once. 

Watching her fuss in her crib as he got ready in the morning for his sermon made his heart ache. The deputy was dressed beautifully and ready to leave, he didn’t want her to stay to take care of their child and he didn’t trust anyone to care for his daughter for the few hours he’d be gone.

He dressed his child quickly at the last moment. She was coming with. What kind of father would he be if he left his wife and child at home? Besides, his flock needed to see her. They all crooned around him when his daughter was near. Trying to catch a glimpse of her sparkling blue eyes. The whole family sported them. At this point she carried the same significance as his family did in the project. 

Joseph made signs and advertisements just like his siblings had. All things rotating around their future and how important youth is. 

He shifted the child in his arms as he began his sermon for the day. He smiled brightly each time his daughter made some squeal of delight. It was a strange contradiction to have something so beautiful in his arms while he was surrounded by burly men with guns. Joseph had to remind himself that this was necessary for his family’s safety. 

As the sermon slowly ended Joseph gave side arm hugs, holding tightly onto people’s hands, always aware of the bundle in his hands that was starting to squirm. When he looked down he was more than pleased to see her smile at him. The first one of hopefully many to come. 

He sang softly, leaning against the side of the church to watch his flock socialize before they went home. 

He sung softly, once again going to ‘You Are My Sunshine.’ It was fitting. Something he wanted to sing to his girl all her life. He wanted her to grow up in a stable environment where she never doubted his love for her. 

—

The light red twinge in her cheeks said it all. She was sunburnt. She didn’t seem any different, her attitude was the same. But Joseph still could see the strange highlight to her skin as his wife prepared dinner. He reached out, fingers brushing the redness. 

His wife leaned in behind him, draping herself over his back. “Something wrong?” 

“She has a sunburn.” The deputy leaned forward, eyes squinting. 

“Joe.” She nipped at his ear playfully. “It’s barely noticeable.” 

That did nothing to quell his anxieties as the rest of the night continued. He was distracted even when he stayed in her room with the deputy as she fed her. He stroked their baby’s hair back from where she was suckling away, making small noises. She didn’t look displeased with the burn, but it bothered him. It could've been a lot worse. Could lead to skin cancer. 

He knew he was overreacting, but this all could have been avoided, the thought that he was already putting his daughter in harm's way made him squirm uncomfortably in bed that night. He squeezed his wife tighter in his arms, finally getting some rest. 

The next day and Joseph got up earlier than normal. He went to retrieve his sleeping child, wrapping her in blankets after he tossed on his own clothes. He made his way downstairs, cooing soft words to keep her sleeping. 

On the counter he left a handwritten note to the deputy. Stating that he went shopping, nothing specific, he wanted this to be a surprise. 

He sung in the car, glancing at the sleeping child in the car seat he was gifted from one of the families apart of his flock. Joseph knew no one would hesitate if he asked for anything, especially for his daughter. That felt like an abuse of power and he would feel like he wasn’t a true father. His own dad didn’t care much for his well-being. Wouldn’t have done a damn thing for a sunburn. He wanted this to be different. 

He hopped out of the car, swiftly picking up his daughter and pushing open the door to a convenience store. He passed through many times before his wife gave birth and saw the things they carried. One thing that appeared in his mind was the hats they had. 

His hands rubbed along the selection they offered. The light pastel colors caught his eye, but he knew he was probably over doing it with the pastels. The yellow blanket, the handkerchief he now carried on him everywhere he went, his family might not put up with one more item. So his hands skipped over the pretty light pink hat and landed on a dark navy color. It was a bucket hat, reminding him of sailing. And wasn’t that a nice idea. He could imagine taking his wife and child overseas for a few hours. Just a quiet day to themselves, to get away from it all. The imagery floating through his mind is what sold him. 

Joseph allowed the young woman at the counter to place the hat atop his daughters head, she was just starting to wake up. Curious eyes roaming over the woman who was a devoted follower. 

She pinched his daughter's cheek, laughing and telling him what a beautiful girl he had. His heart warmed at the compliment. With all the fuss of having an infant he didn’t realize how the people of Eden’s Gate were there for him. He suddenly knew that he would let no one stand in the way of him crafting a new world after the collapse. The project got more serious now that his family became extended. He was fighting for something that was bigger than himself. 

—

Joseph was on the hardened floor of his house, a checkered quilt was lying beneath him and his daughter. Something that Joseph would have called ugly if not given to him by a member of his community. He felt obliged to use it, and what better purpose than letting his kid have it instead?

She was lying on her back, staring up at where Joseph hovered above her. It’s been too long of a day where he spent most of his time frowning. Another spark of resistance, it wasn’t anything he hasn’t seen, he’s dealt with his fair share of these things over the years. But the news caught him on a day where he was already sleep deprived. 

Moments like this is what he craved. Time with someone who was blissfully unaware of the things going on in the world. 

His face was already hurting from how he was smiling wide. He playfully pulled at her nose, letting her grab at his fingers. Joseph kissed her stomach, noticing how she squirmed. 

Oh.

She was ticklish. The thought made him laugh, eyes crinkling. He had a wonderful idea. Something he did with the deputy once that had her almost slap him, though that was due to the fact that it wasn’t something you’d do to an adult. But now he had a baby. 

Joseph pushed her flowered shirt up to reveal a patch of skin. He pushed his head in close and blew loudly, his lips rippled against her flesh and had her laughing. He’s never known anyone to actually give someone a raspberry, but this moment was too pure to pass up. 

She was writhing beneath him, hands tossing in the air. His beard brushed her skin and only added to her laughter. Joseph pulled ways to watch her giggles die down. 

There was something so innocent about a child’s laughter. After all he’s been through in his life, he deserved this. He leaned down to kiss her stomach one last time.   
His next words were murmured like a prayer.

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.”


	3. Jacob

She was perched on his lap, curious hands reaching for stray papers and pens that were close enough on his desk. Every second he had to pull something from her mouth and she’d only giggle in response. It was a game to her. One that he was happy to play. That was until she ended up tearing one of his maps right down the middle. 

Jacob paused from where he was writing down coordinates to stare dumbfounded at her. She turned her head back to look at him, only 8 months old and already she had unimaginable spirit and the guts to toy with his temper. He’d never lay a hand on her angering him, he’s never even raised his voice at her. She was smart for being so damn young. Already she knew that she had a special place in his heart, that she had him wrapped around her finger. 

He let go out his pencil, reaching a hand up to ruffle her hair. Small tuffs that were barely there, a light shade of ginger. Her eyes were a sparkling blue. The amount of pride he took in having her look so much like him was something he wasn’t used to feeling. 

She gave him a grin that lacked teeth, babbling softly as he chuckled. Jacob pulled the ruined paper from her hands just as she was about to shove it between her lips. Truth be told he actually needed that. He squashed down his annoyance, no room for such anger when he had a child. He wasn’t expecting perfection. 

She curled up into his grasp when he stood with her. He was overly careful when he put her over his shoulders, feeling her tiny hands pull at his shortly cropped hair. One of his large paws would always remain on her leg, squeezing tight in case she lost balance, though it’d be hard for her to fall when she was so infatuated with his hair, grip surprisingly tight. She was strong, and that only made him smile. Hard to chastise her about that. So he didn’t, when he grunted hard enough from pain and shock, she would stop, matting the hair back into place. Or somewhat back into place. He couldn’t escape John’s teasing about how his hair would now stick up in all directions. 

Jacob hummed under his breath, the same song he sung to her when she was just an infant. It appeased her, made her relax and wrap her stubby arms around him, palms splaying out on his cheek, toying with his beard. 

His men still stood at attention, even with his daughter laughing and climbing all over him. They knew how he ruled with an iron fist. Becoming a father didn’t change that. 

He strolled through his compound, whistling to a pack of judges that were new to training. Not yet killing machines, which meant they were perfectly safe to be around his daughter. They put up with her stroking over their coats and trying to climb on their backs. One day at John’s region where he placed her on a horse and now she was ready to saddle up his wolves. 

Deep into the woods and he finally placed her down, letting her crawl as he walked with her. Sometimes crouching down to her level, scared she’d eat something she wasn’t supposed to. 

Any other time and he would bring his hunters with him. He was strong, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew how some people weren’t too fond of him, wanted him dead. But this time was supposed to be spent with his kid. His little pup. A nickname that the deputy scolded him for when their girl started only responding to pup instead of her name. That didn’t really stop him. He figured she’d get old enough to tell that she had an actual name. Soon hopefully. 

He leaned back in the grass, holding his arms out when she crawled near to him, eyes dipping shut before she even reached him. He moved forward, separating the distance and picking her up under her arms. She was cradled safely across his chest as he laid back, eyes slipping shut, taking a moment to share this time with his daughter.  
—  
To say Jacob loved his weapons was an understatement. He wouldn’t let a single one of his Chosen clean off his gear. The whole process was cathartic and he enjoyed the menial task. Especially when the deputy would sit on his lap as he did it, giving distracting kisses as he checked over his rifle.

It was one of those rare occasions where he actually had a heads up for an important job instead of it being sprung on him in the last minute. He was supposed to be heading down to Holland Valley in two days and he wanted his weapons to gleam. 

He didn’t think much when the deputy dropped their kid into his lap and gave him a goodbye kiss telling him she was off to go hunting. He paused his work to move from his office chair to the floor. He didn’t have time to do this another day, so he placed his kid on a fluffy pillow and continued cleaning his things. 

He sharpened his red handled knife and wiped the speckled blood from it. In a neat line he laid out the assortment of knives he had. All ranging in color and size. 

He moved to his guns next. Cleaning his red rifle, taking it apart and putting it back together with finesse. The speed he possessed for the skill never ceased to make him smile. 

Now looking back on what he did, he realized his mistake. But at the time, getting up to grab something to drink didn’t cause any concern. 

Jacob turned, eyes widening and almost dropping the bottled water he had. His daughter, his precious pup was waving his red knife around like one of her teddy bears. 

“Hey. Hey sweetheart.” Jacob tossed the water on his desk, momentarily forgotten, he got down on his knees to be eye level to her. He was way too far to reach out and grab it. Besides, he didn’t want to risk cutting her if he lunged. He crawled forward, eyes staying on the knife, how she raised it high above her like a prize. 

He held out his hand expectantly. “Here. Give that to daddy.” She babbled and moved to swing down, his hand opened, ready to snatch the knife away. During the whole thing he should of been watching where he was grabbing. His girl sliced the knife deep into the flesh of his hand, making him grunt from surprise. The sound was akin to the one he would make if she grabbed his hair too hard, somewhere in her mind she knew she had hurt him. He saw the shift in her eyes and how her muscles tensed. 

Her hand dropped the knife and he yanked it from his skin. Grimacing at the wet popping noise it made. 

The rush of warm blood was familiar to the soldier. He knew there would probably be a day when his girl hurt him, he planned on teaching her to spar with him and use weapons, but he didn’t expect his first injury from her to come so soon. 

Still, he smiled around the pain and went to stand. The blood was already dripping down his wrist and making a mess on the floor. He shook his head, “Mom’s not gonna be very happy pup.” He saw how her bottom lip wobbled. She was on the verge of tears. Carefully he reached down to bring her to his chest. His hand was kept at arm's length, he didn’t need to bloody her outfit, no way was he going to explain that one and get away with it. 

She was sat on the edge of the sink as he washed off. Hands hovering near her to make sure she didn’t fall. Her eyes flicked between him and the pinkish water. 

He wasn’t any stranger to first aid, he was bandaged in a few seconds, now using both hands to carry his daughter back into his room. He scanned the scene around him, how some of his blood had fallen onto the knives he just cleaned. He let out a groan of frustration. 

“Mommy, will fix that mess, right pup?” He collapsed onto the bed, lying on his side and placing his girl next to him. His large paw was kept on her stomach. He let his eyes drift shut, curling up around her and praying that the deputy wouldn’t be too mad at him.  
—  
“Honey, you know I love you, but I can’t let you be seen like that in good conscience.” Jacob only chuckled at the deputy’s words. The baby carrier was strapped to his chest, the best money could buy according to John. It had been quite the conversation to have with his younger brother. This kind of thing didn’t seem like Jacob or the image he usually had. He couldn’t neglect his duties as a soldier, he had an army to form and he always went on runs with them. He wanted his girl to be out there with him. He wanted her to grow up around the woods, see all the flowers and animals that she was already infatuated with. 

Each time they went on walks, Jacob was forced to break away to take care of something, leaving his wife and child alone, no more of that. He wouldn’t tolerate it, it was starting to get on his nerves. The baby carrier was a perfect solution. 

The deputy lowered their daughter into it, strapping her in securely, allowing Jacob to check over it twice just to be safe. “You really think anyone would question me? They don’t have the guts to laugh.”

She hummed lightly, swooping in to press a kiss to his scarred cheek. “Fine. Good luck. But I’m not going with.” At his incredulous look she only laughed, hands on her hips. “Nope. Don’t try to convince me. I’m not being seen with the 6”3 soldier with a baby strapped to his chest.” She smoothed out his military jacket, ruffled their daughters hair and headed for the showers. Calling over her shoulder, “Stay safe,” before she rounded the corner. 

Jacob scoffed. “Guess it's just you and me girl. That’s fine. Mommy will come around eventually pup.” He walked out with an air of confidence, he's been through too much to feel embarrassment. No, this was a symbol of pride. Showing off what he made, the small light of his day that he would raise to be even greater than him. That’s what he wanted more than anything. 

“Alright, let's go.” He words weren’t delivered to his men in his normal barking tone. All for the sake of the child he was carting around. They didn’t lack the bite though, the underlying current that dared them to not listen. 

The run would last two hours. On his back he held a bag that carried all the things his pup would need. Pacifiers, bottles, toys and diapers. Everything to keep her placated. 

Her head was turning around to take in all the sights and smells. They passed by deer that made her jump and he slowed to pluck a caterpillar from a branch, holding it up for her to examine. She made bright happy noises, arms flailing from excitement. The bug was tossed somewhere in the grass when he could no longer see his men. He sped up, careful to make sure her head wasn’t bobbing to much. He had to hand it to John, he did buy him the best, keeping her safe and happy. 

Every ten minutes he’d stop, reaching for something new to introduce to his daughter. Watching her reaction to each new thing made his heart warm. She squealed every time, hands grasping at what he held out to her. It amazed him how trusting she was. That she took everything so willingly, putting her faith in him that he wouldn’t put her in harm's way. There were so little people who did that in his life. 

By the end of the run he was panting slightly, almost envious of how his little girl wasn’t exerted at all. One day that’d change, he’d take her on runs with him. He gave parting words to his men, praises and orders to get cleaned up and practice with their weapons. 

Jacob took the longer route back to his wife, avoiding the people locked in cages. He whistled, hand patting her hair. All in good time and she’d see that. One day she might cast him out because of what he was doing. And he wouldn’t blame her. Right now though, she deserved only happiness in her life. She didn’t need to know how awful the human race was. How cutthroat it could be. 

Seeing his wife’s smiling face, lying in the middle of his oversized bed when he got back reminded him that there was some good in the world amongst all the bad. Even if it came in small intervals like this.  
—  
He was a gasping mess in an instant. Bloodied memories of his past floated through his mind’s eye. And it would stick with him the entire day. His forehead was slick with sweat, the blankets were tangled around his legs. The deputy lied on the pillows, hair fanning around her, unaware of his plight. He usually never had to wake her, his tossing and turning mingled with his screams would make her shake him until he was torn from his dreams. It was a rare occasion for her not to be awake with him, he never felt more alone then in these moments. 

Jacob stood on wobbly legs, his hands were shaking and his heart was loud in his ears, there was the rushing noise of his blood coursing through his veins that made him growl in frustration. 

He stalked around the room, pacing. He ended up standing over his baby’s crib, gripping harshly on the wood until it creaked and he feared it would splinter. 

The soft noise that his daughter made had him freeze. She was staring up at him with wide eyes, bright blue orbs gazing back at him in the darkened room. 

His throat constricted as he reached down to grab her. Did he wake her? There was that familier pang of guilt that he recognized when the deputy slept in the same bed with him for the first time, anxious that he would wake her, and he did most nights. And now he was going to put that burden on his daughter. Not that she seemed upset, she looked happy to see him, but that wasn’t anything new. That thought grounded him. Made him more confident as he walked in circles around the room to calm his thrumming heart. 

“Now your wide awake pup. Daddy’s sorry. So fucking sorry.” He nuzzled down into her cheek, feeling her hands scramble at his hair and tug. That pulled a chuckle from his lips. 

“Did I just hear you curse at our daughter?” His head shot up. The deputy was leaning against the headboard, arms crossed over her chest and a faux angry expression on her face. How long had she been watching him? He opened his mouth to defend himself, but she beat him to it. “And did you call her pup? Exactly what I told you not to call her.” His wife rose, pushing away the blankets to pad over gently to him. She twirled their daughters hair around her fingers. “I’m sure she doesn’t know her name anymore.”

Jacob smiled, pulling her to his side and squeezing her tight. She looked up, concern flicking in her eyes. “You alright Jake?” The same question she posed each time this happened. 

“I’ve got you two. I’m feeling pretty damn good.” 

“You know, you’d probably feel even better if you didn’t curse in front of our daughter.”

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, teeth clacking when he smile too wide. “At this point, Jacob, I’m sure her first words will be her cursing you out.” He full on laughed at the thought. Not many people brave enough to challenge him. Only his family, Hell, Faith was still scared to test his anger. It’d be nice to have someone else to push his buttons and joke around with him. 

“I’d let her. Give her a reward if she ever did that shit.” He held both girls close to him, feeding off their body heat. He hummed, rocking on his heels, letting all of them grow sleepy and mollified. 

Jacob now had two beautiful girls in his life to stand by his side. His wife already took care of him, glad to be wrapped in his embrace, he only hoped his daughter would be the same. That she wouldn’t see him as a monster.


End file.
